Have you ever daydreamed about french fries? Ice cream? YOU HAVE A SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION. The answer, of course, is America’s favorite solution- drugs. OK, this would be the funniest commercial I’ve seen in a long time, even if the small print didn’t flat-out acknowledge Contrave works less than half the time (see 0:25). Contrave is a… Continue reading Too Lazy To Exercise? Take A Magic Pill!
Sunscreen ads are hitting the airwaves! It’s still Spring, but the sun’s rays are as direct and dangerous in May as they are in July. As the most common form of cancer, skin cancer is a danger to all humans, not just gingers. Even when we slap on the strongest sunscreen available, we are still at… Continue reading Banana Boat Stands By Deadly Lies
Last night I was watching Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I, when this commercial hit me upside the head: First thing you should know: I hate ostriches. You can tell by their eyes they are always planning something sinister. But this ad swept me up in its story. The vicious, thieving ostrich is pacified by brain-melting… Continue reading Self-Delusion Trumps Physics?
Commercials have long used inappropriate pop music to sell their products. I’ll never forget Gatorade using “Walk On The Wild Side” to remind consumers that energy drinks can keep you from losing your head, even when giving head. Volkswagen is the latest offender: OK, we have a song about an older man perving on girl… Continue reading Family Living in Car Keeps Up Appearances
Absurdism in advertising has run its course. What was once cute and novel, is now a crutch for grabbing attention. The logical answer to this devolution was to infuse an ironic self-awareness into absurd ads. That approach is rapidly reaching the threshold of banality as well and Mobil 1 isn’t helping. I like Mobil 1’s message:… Continue reading Self-Awareness Is For The Buddhas
Yep, this makes me want to drink hard liquor. And cheat on my spouse conscience-free because they shouldn’t have lied. Besides triggering a yearning for Everclear-soaked fruit and slutty wives, there are some deeper, creepier messages here. You don’t need to put on Rowdy Roddy Piper’s glasses to recognize them: distrust, deception, addiction, revenge, jealousy, resentment… hate.… Continue reading Drugs, Alcohol, Lies
The corrupt bastards at the NCAA have allowed time for so many commercials during March Madness that even with four games on at once, there are long periods when all four channels are on commercial break simultaneously. I just wanted to point out how greedy those sons of bitches are. ExxonMobil has turned these game… Continue reading The Big Game Is On Commercial Break? Blame ExxonMobil.