Drugs, Alcohol, Lies

Yep, this makes me want to drink hard liquor. And cheat on my spouse conscience-free because they shouldn’t have lied.   Besides triggering a yearning for Everclear-soaked fruit and slutty wives, there are some deeper, creepier messages here. You don’t need to put on Rowdy Roddy Piper’s glasses to recognize them: distrust, deception, addiction, revenge, jealousy, resentment… hate.… Continue reading Drugs, Alcohol, Lies

Deranged Stalker Causes Public Disruption

I’ve already talked about  Can You Hear Me Now Guy’s return to the spotlight. Verizon (or is it Sprint?) has now taken everything good about their original commercial and shit on it while amping up the already shitty aspects.   Whoa! It was cute when they hijacked CYHMNG, but the campaign has crossed into scary territory. Sprint… Continue reading Deranged Stalker Causes Public Disruption

Dave Thomas Cheers Wisconsin From Beyond The Grave

I am EXTREMELY CONFLICTED about the latest Wendy’s commercial. I like Wendy’s never-frozen burgers and I like Wisconsin basketball. There must be a bracket wizard at Wendy’s who understood Wisconsin’s tournament-tested, senior-led squad would cruise to victory over the top-ranked and entitled Villanova team, thus keeping the burger chain’s flagship March Madness commercial relevant for one more… Continue reading Dave Thomas Cheers Wisconsin From Beyond The Grave

Tom Clancy Still Chasing John Madden From Beyond The Grave

Have you ever wished your solemn vow of service to your country was exploited to prop up a foreign right wing dictatorship? If the answer is yes, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands looks right for you! I don’t know anything about this game besides what’s in the commercial, but I assume you control a death squad charged… Continue reading Tom Clancy Still Chasing John Madden From Beyond The Grave

Dr. Pepper Promotes Boater Safety

So many ad campaigns catch our eye but fail to connect us to their brands. A cute and quirky commercial may still leave you trying to remember if you’re supposed to buy moisturizer or  fabric softener thirty seconds later.  Dr. Pepper has avoided such a pitfall with their latest campaign. If Lil’ Sweet wasn’t delightfully obnoxious enough, now they… Continue reading Dr. Pepper Promotes Boater Safety

Dachshund Review #1

Wiener dogs are the best marketing tool of all time. It’s impossible not to take notice when a sausage dog pops up on TV. Master marketers GEICO wouldn’t touch a wiener unless they were going to put it front and center, and this pup nails the part. The semi-creepy lady holds her own with the stinky little scene stealer,… Continue reading Dachshund Review #1

Nerd’s Revenge Minimally Satisfying

So, Sprint’s Can You Hear Me Now Guy (CYHMNG) is now pitching for Verizon. Or is Verizon’s CYHMNG now pitching for Sprint? Do people really pay attention to this shit? If the goal of TV advertising is to put out a memorable meme, CYHMNG was a smashing success back in the day. The series of ads… Continue reading Nerd’s Revenge Minimally Satisfying