Low Testosterone Is A Crime Against America

I must have been watching something trashier than usual last night to see this commercial for the first time. It scared the shit out of me. The horrifying reality of shooting fish in a barrel: https://www.ispot.tv/share/A8R5 This is some sick stuff to push into the minds of weak American losers. The marketing team bypasses intelligent patriotic… Continue reading Low Testosterone Is A Crime Against America

Too Lazy To Exercise? Take A Magic Pill!

Have you ever daydreamed about french fries? Ice cream? YOU HAVE A SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION. The answer, of course, is America’s favorite solution- drugs. OK, this would be the funniest commercial I’ve seen in a long time, even if the small print didn’t flat-out acknowledge Contrave works less than half the time (see 0:25).   Contrave is a… Continue reading Too Lazy To Exercise? Take A Magic Pill!

Banana Boat Stands By Deadly Lies

Sunscreen ads are hitting the airwaves! It’s still Spring, but the sun’s rays are as direct and dangerous in May as they are in July. As the most common form of cancer, skin cancer is a danger to all humans, not just gingers. Even when we slap on the strongest sunscreen available, we are still at… Continue reading Banana Boat Stands By Deadly Lies

Self-Delusion Trumps Physics?

Last night I was watching Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I, when this commercial hit me upside the head: First thing you should know: I hate ostriches. You can tell by their eyes they are always planning something sinister. But this ad swept me up in its story. The vicious, thieving ostrich is pacified by brain-melting… Continue reading Self-Delusion Trumps Physics?

Proper Hydration Is The Enemy Of Intoxication

As we approach May, there are a few 2017 Super Bowl commercials still making the rounds. It’s no surprise the New World Order has chosen to keep this Michelob Ultra Light commercial running: The message to accept of our gray, grimy dystopia resonates deeply. Accept your dehumanization and Michelob will give relief from the dungeon, from the gauntlet… Continue reading Proper Hydration Is The Enemy Of Intoxication

New Experiences Help Loser Move On From Failed Relationship

I’ve been following the ad campaign featuring Can You Hear Me Now Guy closely. See here and here. I was starting to worry CYHMNG had lost his sense of self in his despondency over data plans, allowing his hatred to consume and define his very existence. Thankfully, it looks like CYHMNG is re-centering himself. I don’t know what self-help… Continue reading New Experiences Help Loser Move On From Failed Relationship