Family Living in Car Keeps Up Appearances

Commercials have long used inappropriate pop music to sell their products. I’ll never forget Gatorade using “Walk On The Wild Side” to remind consumers that energy drinks can keep you from losing your head, even when giving head. Volkswagen is the latest offender: OK, we have a song about an older man perving on girl… Continue reading Family Living in Car Keeps Up Appearances

Self-Awareness Is For The Buddhas

Absurdism in advertising has run its course. What was once cute and novel, is now a crutch for grabbing attention. The logical answer to this devolution was to infuse an ironic self-awareness into absurd ads. That approach is rapidly reaching the threshold of banality as well and Mobil 1 isn’t helping.   I like Mobil 1’s message:… Continue reading Self-Awareness Is For The Buddhas

Buick Trivializes Child Abuse

The horrors of football-related chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) have been known for a long time. A really, really long time, if you’re Roger Goodell. We know the developing brains of children have highest risk of permanent damage from head injuries, even sub-concussive blows.   So why is Buick trying to make the sick child abuse known as Pee… Continue reading Buick Trivializes Child Abuse

Drugs, Alcohol, Lies

Yep, this makes me want to drink hard liquor. And cheat on my spouse conscience-free because they shouldn’t have lied.   Besides triggering a yearning for Everclear-soaked fruit and slutty wives, there are some deeper, creepier messages here. You don’t need to put on Rowdy Roddy Piper’s glasses to recognize them: distrust, deception, addiction, revenge, jealousy, resentment… hate.… Continue reading Drugs, Alcohol, Lies

Deranged Stalker Causes Public Disruption

I’ve already talked about  Can You Hear Me Now Guy’s return to the spotlight. Verizon (or is it Sprint?) has now taken everything good about their original commercial and shit on it while amping up the already shitty aspects.   Whoa! It was cute when they hijacked CYHMNG, but the campaign has crossed into scary territory. Sprint… Continue reading Deranged Stalker Causes Public Disruption

Dave Thomas Cheers Wisconsin From Beyond The Grave

I am EXTREMELY CONFLICTED about the latest Wendy’s commercial. I like Wendy’s never-frozen burgers and I like Wisconsin basketball. There must be a bracket wizard at Wendy’s who understood Wisconsin’s tournament-tested, senior-led squad would cruise to victory over the top-ranked and entitled Villanova team, thus keeping the burger chain’s flagship March Madness commercial relevant for one more… Continue reading Dave Thomas Cheers Wisconsin From Beyond The Grave

Tom Clancy Still Chasing John Madden From Beyond The Grave

Have you ever wished your solemn vow of service to your country was exploited to prop up a foreign right wing dictatorship? If the answer is yes, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands looks right for you! I don’t know anything about this game besides what’s in the commercial, but I assume you control a death squad charged… Continue reading Tom Clancy Still Chasing John Madden From Beyond The Grave