Low Testosterone Is A Crime Against America

I must have been watching something trashier than usual last night to see this commercial for the first time. It scared the shit out of me. The horrifying reality of shooting fish in a barrel:

This is some sick stuff to push into the minds of weak American losers. The marketing team bypasses intelligent patriotic Americans and zeros in on a sadly vulnerable target: hyper-nationalist jingo-drunk reactionaries.

Step one: Remind everyone this is America. Got your attention?

Step two: The easiest step! Whip up some paranoia! TESTOSTERONE LEVELS ARE DROPPING AND BRINGING AMERICA DOWN WITH THEM!! YOU ARE THE PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT

Step three: Suggest that using Force Factor Test X180 Ignite is the next logical step toward Making America Great Again.

Step four: Offer a free deal to get them hooked and to get their credit card information for unauthorized purchases.

Step five: Remind them of the pussification of America one more time.

Remember, it’s statistically likely that Liberace had higher peak testosterone levels than the other guys in this picture:

1060b-hands_team_ali_hulk_liberace

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s