Too Lazy To Exercise? Take A Magic Pill!

Have you ever daydreamed about french fries? Ice cream? YOU HAVE A SERIOUS MEDICAL CONDITION. The answer, of course, is America’s favorite solution- drugs.

OK, this would be the funniest commercial I’ve seen in a long time, even if the small print didn’t flat-out acknowledge Contrave works less than half the time (see 0:25).

 

Contrave is a drug that is “believed” to work on two areas of your brain. That’s two areas for the price of one! And I love the fine print: “Other areas of the brain may be involved.” And later: “The exact neurochemical effects of Contrave leading to weight loss are not fully understood.” And after reeling off a terrifying list of side effects: “Other side effects may occur.”

So they don’t know what the fuck they’re even doing to you. They just whipped up some liquid mindfuck and shot up some monkeys to see how they should market it.

The commercial peaks as a deliciously curvy woman turns down dessert. This woman has buried her inner demons. She only needs to take Contrave for the rest of her life to keep them buried. Freedom!

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