Dave Thomas Cheers Wisconsin From Beyond The Grave

I am EXTREMELY CONFLICTED about the latest Wendy’s commercial. I like Wendy’s never-frozen burgers and I like Wisconsin basketball. There must be a bracket wizard at Wendy’s who understood Wisconsin’s tournament-tested, senior-led squad would cruise to victory over the top-ranked and entitled Villanova team, thus keeping the burger chain’s flagship March Madness commercial relevant for one more week.

HOWEVER, instead of telling us to enjoy a fresh all-beef patty during the big game, they try to convince us that faceless Wendy’s drones have the same passion for their jobs that fans have for their teams. Are we supposed to think the cooks at Wendy’s scream until they’re blue in the face while dropping fries? Maybe if there’s splashback. Are we supposed to believe the marketing team who invented the Baconator emitted a thrilling roar of excitement when they placed the final strip? I’m sure more than one heart stopped…

And what’s with the phony Wisconsin apparel? If you can’t use the actual “W” logo, just use a Times New Roman “W”, for Chrissakes, not that goofy-ass font. And if you’re going to exploit Wisconsin, don’t try to make watching TV in the cold look miserable. To me, it looks like a bunch of friends are having fun getting wasted in an ice fishing shanty. That’s something we should aspire to, not deplore.

Now keep busting brackets, Bucky!

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